You know when Tuesday is your Monday...

Weekend Nuggets: (not chicken)

+Sly calls me to come over Friday night. I sit for 15 minutes as a shell. Don't let him in, don't give him anything, get out. He mentions seeing a movie and my brain reels are we here again? This stop-start rush hour traffic relationship is exhausting. I leave, then remember that I am supposed to be more of an open communicator. I try to rationalize myself out of it. Does he really matter, is it worth it? I decide yes I don't feel good about myself right now, I feel like I am playing games and I hate games (unless it's Apples to Apples or a card game or something).

So I wheeled around, parked. Knocked can I come back in? Sat down. I wasn't honest with you. When you blew me off I was pissed. Your actions showed me you didn't really care and now, with you calling, it feels to me like you are using me when it's convenient and I cannot stand these mixed messages. I can't do this. I won't repeat the whole conversation, but I left feeling pretty confused, but really fucking amazing for "expressing my confidence" on someone for fucking with my emotions.


+After passing up the opportunity to hang with high schoolers in a warehouse-turned venue watching a few emo-punk-pop bands, Victoria and Peter and his buddies and I went to Trancas Steakhouse, drank, danced, and kareoked. Pete tripped around the dance floor with a drunken cougar, V and I blew out the eardrums of of kareoke dude whilst singing "More Than A Feeling," and striped-shirt guy stole my heart when he performed interpretive dance to "Turn Around (Bright Eyes)"

+Deliciousness .... brown butter sauce with crispy sage and herb ravioli. Homemade limoncello. J's birthday and just the right mix of folks. Craming in a taxi and feeling everyone's laugh. Cuuuute guy with a sleeve tat talking about noir comics and music across the table. Old Adobe Bar and Grill (dive dive dive) with a surly bartender finally warming up and releasing a mechanical mouse on us, skittling across the bar. Victoria and Peter saving my life and picking me up, so I can sleep in my own bed.

+O and I moving my set of furniture from its storage to my newish place. Realizing my desk was being used as a mail table in admin and taking that shiz back. Herro please.

+On a marvelous day that reminds me of when I was 8 and loved playing outside, walking a dog around Spring Lake and laughing with Sharon, one of the best people ever to laugh with. Darren, I can't wait until you find a lady friend who enjoys the peculiar kind of game that you spit.

+Being looked at in that way, and feeling beautiful, and knowing the right kind of guy just sniffed my hair when he hugged me, and delicately touches my knee when he walks by, and enjoying what it feels like to be sexy. Just for now. Watching Shatner and Spader make me love men again.

+Thrilled to be coexisting soon with one of the coolest ladies I've ever known.


Happy Tuesday.