One Friday Night

The last time I'll let him under my skin..

I accepted an offer to party in Napa with J. We met up with a possible interest of hers and his cousin. J lays down subtle and not-so-subtle suggestions that I should hook up with this cousin. He seems cute enough. The way he forces his humor on the group gets to me. It's as if he pulled out a heady air freshener and keeps spraying it above the table. Maybe it wouldn't be so obnoxious if I wasn't drinking. I get it. Ok. Haha. After a jaunt to a pretentious bar, and a visit to a dive bar that seems to sit on the complete opposite side of the class spectrum, I am 5 shots deep and falling asleep on J's couch while she cuddles with S, and his cousin E, asks me to spoon with him.

I am pretending to sleep while J is kissing face with S, and E is snoring in my ear. I am tempted to lean over, grab my phone, and record his noise. I have never heard anything like it. I shift my weight a few times to jostle him, but it only gets me a minute or so of peace before he starts 'er up again. I am cuddling with a buzz saw.

When J and S move into her room to get some sleep, I pop up like a zombie corpse and S looks at me like I am one. (Oh I thought she was passed out! Weird!) and I stake my claim on the abandoned couch. Muffin the cat is my only night companion and I couldn't be happier. And I stretch out and happily leave buzz saw behind me. And I don't let he-who-must-not-be-named enter my head. And I let myself smile and giggle as the buzz saw continues to drone on. And the lesson sneaks in. (I try to make every social situation as didactic as possible.)

I would rather be alone than make out with a power tool. I was just over getting cut up.