I was living in San Francisco (I was aware of it being San Francisco, it looked nothing like San Francisco. ) Which is one of my 5 frequent recurring dream locations. (The best I had was one in which I visited a beautiful sprawling cathedral surrounded by lush greenery, and then visited a whimsical low-ceiling'ed ice cream shop and met up with my lactose intolerant friend Justin who freely enjoyed the frozen dairy treat with me. Glorious)
So, I was living in San Francisco, hanging out in something that could only be described as a construction site, and I was happy as happy gets. And pregnant. This is my second dream in the last 6 months or so where I am pregnant. I am always happy to be pregnant, natural, gorgeous, glowing, radiant, ecstatic.
This freaks me out for 3 reasons:
1. My step mom is sure that not only will I be the first daughter to wed, I will immediately "pop out a baby". This is disconcerting because I want to travel and lead a full life of debauchery before children. How could this happen to me first seeing as my sister has been in a relationship for three years... and it's a little ominous to us both that I, who has never had a boyfriend, will wed and "pop" out babies before her.
2. There have been a few days I have forgotten my birth control and taken it a few hours past it's allotted time. Sometimes I think that when this happens a baby will spontaneously grow like those foam capsules you put in water and it goes from a pill to an 18-inch replica of Saturn in like, 10 minutes.
3. I am seeing someone again. Re-read #2.
Darla's word isn't God... but I'm sure as hell not telling her about these dreams!
Not that I honestly think I am about to be knocked up. I am pretty smart about my sex, (when I have it) and I am going to be completely transparent and say I would get an abortion should I accidentally get pregnant.
This is a touchy subject. I feel horrible saying this with so many women around me who are proud single mothers, and also a few women who have tragically lost a baby or are trying hard to get pregnant. The more I think about abortion, the more truly horrid it seems, the very idea of it. I am 100% pro choice but for goodness sake I hope you did everything you could before you got to that point. I know I would.
Where did that soapbox come from? Out of nowhere.
Let's get back to me living in San Francisco, wearing a nice floaty dress from pea in a Pod or some such maternity store.
The End.
1 comment:
I pictured this entire post with you sitting in an MTV/Real World confessional...
Please work on number 2.
Especially if you are increasing the practice of intercourse.
And if you are increasing that practice, I expect explicitly entertaining blog entries.
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